I lost a good friend over the long weekend- Monday 2nd October 2017. It sounds terrible to follow that by saying that I hadn’t seen him in over 15 years, but nevertheless he was a good friend.
Was he a guy who could bail me out any time of the day or night? Maybe If I’d had his contact details (I didn’t), but lately it seemed more likely I’d have to bail him out…… although to be honest he appeared to have his life back on track, a plan for the future- and while I was hassling to get him to lunch with me, I wasn’t trying too hard as it seemed we had all the time in the world. Wrong again.
So how do I rate the ‘goodness’ of the friendship? Mostly by the ease with which we fell back into conversations after such a huge break. I don’t need someone to say ‘got your back’ to be a good friend, in the end you just know.
I really looked up to Esteban, he was smarter than me, more creative, more interesting, kinder and more compassionate. I have a number of male friends who never seem to age, and he was one. But you just couldn’t be jealous as he was just so chill about everything.
My 2 best memories of him both involve DJ’ing. The first one- Estie had managed to get me a spot DJ’ing a house party in Bowral. I arrived pretty late due to work and the party was going off, shortly after I got a tap on the shoulder ‘you’re up’
There is just nothing like playing to a totally bonkers crowd at the height of the night, with everyone loving life, no security to bother you and a big sound system. It was epic and huge and exciting and I’ll treasure that memory forever. Overwhelmingly wonderful.
The other one was slightly different- again Estie had got me a slot at a private party at a pub near Oxford St. I arrived and the place was heaving. I went on and the previous DJ said ‘oh, there’s no monitor'(speaker for the DJ to hear what is being played in the main area). I figured I would be ok but the main speakers were about 10m away and facing me. This meant that I couldn’t hear shit when I was mixing. Never mind, there’s several techniques that can help with this- the only problem was I hadn’t used any of them for years. After three or four tracks the kicked me off- it was the right thing to do, my mixing was atrocious. I gathered my records and slunk downstairs to the car and sat still wondering how I could fuck up so badly in front of so many people. I was absolutely crushed. Estie actually left the party and came to find me to make sure I was alright.
So there you go, one of the best and one of the worst nights of my life, both brought to me by my amazing friend.
He also worked incredibly hard, and one day after being friends for many years I found out why. That ‘why’ seems to have finally killed him.
None of us are perfect, and I have plenty of flaws. Este didn’t appear to have many, but I guess sometimes one is enough to fuck you up good.
I have no idea what type of music he liked, but we met at a dance party. So I hope he’ll forgive me for my choice despite the lack of doof.
Rest in peace my friend.