11 Signs you might be a Runner

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1. You see lovely calves on a woman in front, realise she’s wearing heels and wince
2. You see calves on a guy in front, realise they’re bigger than yours and wince
3. You see a guy with blood running out of both nipples and feel his pain
4. Someone describes your ‘joggers’ and you correct them
5. You wonder if business shoes come in ‘zero drop’
6. If wearing black is slimming, and running is slimming, then why is running wearing black just stupid?
7. You can justify just about anything you eat, do or don’t do by using various combinations of the words ‘carb loading’ ‘tapering’ ‘LSD’ ‘Fartlek’ ‘bonk’ ‘DOMS’ and ‘hydration’
8. You laugh at people who turn up for a 5km with a hydration pack
9. That’s not a pretty woman up ahead, that’s a mild supinator with overstriding issues, weak gluteus and too much hip movement*
10. You realise the cheaper the run, the more vomit inducing the T-Shirt will be
11. Getting ‘chicked’ isn’t as fun as it sounds

 

 

*anatomically impossible? I have no idea, I totally made this up